I Need Help With My Addiction: The Ultimate Surrender

Three of the most powerful words any alcoholic or addict can mutter.  Unfortunately, they are the three hardest to say, “I need help with my addiction”.

I Need Help With My Addiction

Nine letters can smash an entire delusion of what your life has become.  Nine letters can bring so much pain, but also a small glimpse of hope.  Nine letters can waive the white flag of surrender.  Nine letters can admit that you are ready for a change.  Nine letters can illuminate that what you are doing is not working anymore.

Recovery from addiction is a team sport.  We are not meant to go through it alone.  However, addiction is a disease characterized by self-support and loneliness.  There is no scarier feeling for a “lone wolf” than having to admit they cannot handle something on their own.  Eventually, the chains of addiction become so heavy we simply cannot carry the burden ourselves.  Then comes the time when you are forced to utter those three words of defeat… I need help. 

If You Have Struggled with Addiction, then You Understand

If you have struggled with addiction, you know what we are talking about.  If you have not struggled with addiction, you may never understand what we are talking about.  We will try to help paint a clear picture of what life looks like in the moments prior to addiction treatment.

It’s 5:00 in the morning on a Tuesday.  The sun has started to creep through your blinds, and you hear the devilish tune of birds chirping by your window.  You look up at the ceiling in complete disbelief you have to endure another day.  A mere four hours earlier, you finished off the rest of the bottle and promised yourself once again… if I drink the rest of it tonight, I can’t drink any tomorrow.  Well, tomorrow has come… along with a spinning room, cold sweats and the shakes.  You don’t have to be at work for another three hours, but the thought of enduring this pain for another minute seems impossible.  Well, I’ll just drink a little bit so I don’t feel sick, but no more the rest of the day.  You frantically search under your bed for a hidden bottle… and it’s not there.  Your heart begins to race.  You trudge towards the living room where last night’s binge took place.  On the table you find the remaining bottle and a half burnt cigarette.  Before the bottle reaches your lips, you immediately feel that sense of ease and comfort.  Down the hatch for the last time!  Now, back to sleep for a few hours before work.

It’s 7:30, and you need to be at work in thirty minutes.  This will be the third time in the last week you are late, but this time you have an excuse your boss will undoubtedly believe- little do you know you have used that excuse before.  You make it to work a few minutes after 8, eyes to the floor because God-forbid you have to converse with another human being. You spend the first few hours at work mindlessly flipping through Facebook and Instagram… I just need to get my bearings then I’ll get started.  Next thing you know, it’s lunch time.

I could really use a drink right now. The dreadful thought comes…   But you swore off it for good this time!  You really are done, you just need a little pick me up for the afternoon.  You grab lunch alone, but on the way back to the office, you stop by the liquor store for a small pint.  If I mix it with a Sprite, no one will know.  Again, you feel some ease and comfort.

It’s now 5:00pm.  The last three hours of work feel like a prison sentence.  You sit restlessly in your chair watching the hands of the clock move ever so slowly.  Then the thought comes… God, I cannot wait to get home and have a drink.  But wait, I thought you swore off it for good?  As the clock strikes 5, Jim from marketing approaches and asks if you wanted to join the guys for a beer at the local restaurant.  No, I told myself I’m not going to drink today. The guys probably don’t like me anyway.  He’s just trying to be nice.  You respectfully decline the offer via some bogus excuse about how you’re “super tired.”

Then Comes the Drive Home Where You Will Be Tempted

Then comes the drive home.  Your mind is fixed on one thing, and on thing only… God I cannot wait to have a drink.  But wait… you told yourself this morning you are done.  You told yourself at lunch you are done.  Then you declined Jim’s invitation because you don’t want to drink today…?

If You Need Help, Let Surfside Recovery Services Help

We have a full staff and structured sober living support network to help you get sober again. Call us and get the help you need. We understand what your going through.